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November 17, 2012
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True Despair

“How the light has darkened.”
“How the strongest have fallen.”


This cloak remains
Unseen by many

A barrier to hide away
Covering up my damaged sanity

I have to act a certain way
And pretend I still have a sense of humanity

But I know it's too late
So there is no restoring me
-
I am both sword and shield
My bane is myself

My wounds will never heal
I am both heaven and hell

I fear my own reflection / I dread my own aggression
I am your ruination / I am your protection

I keep all destruction within / I keep all sympathy distant
I am your nightmare / I am your savior


The gift of infliction
Tells the story of life

The curse of humiliation
Reaps all forms of power and pride
-
“Oh how the human soul can be broken.”
“Oh how the darkness can be overpowering.”


This overwhelming pain
Is what you shall not fear

As I start to break
I hold the thoughts of your love near

I cannot place blame
So I put it in my tears

Death is mine to tame
For it has yet to see my true despair
There is no beginning without end
There cannot be light, when the darkness is within
____________________________________________
Stock image solid - [link]
Stock image fractal - [link]
By - :iconsomadjinn:
___________________________________________
This poem is written for my project, titled-
"Broken Wings Unbound: I'm Falling Down / I'm Soaring Now"
In volume ten: Ultimatums Unleashed
___________________________________________
"Like" my facebook poetry page if you enjoy my work.
Get access to unreleased demos and more here --> [link]
___________________________________________
Check out my galleries below if you want to read more.
Watch me if you think that you might like my work.
:iconfeardomized: :iconchainoflies: :iconominoushero: :iconhollowedsky:
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:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
I like how you describe the cloak as a way to protect yourself from people and them seeing your "broken sanity" the description is really nice here.

I like the next line, "I have to act a certain way, To pretend I still have a sense of humanity." but I do not see how the next line "But I know it's too late, There is no curing me," relates to the line above it. What is there no curing of? the sense of humanity?

"I am both a sword and shield. My Bane is myself."
Instead I would say, "I am the bane of my existence" Or something along those lines.

I like the idea of you bolding the next four line, but why those lines and not others? What makes those lines stand out over others? However I do like how you write it as being good an bad, particularly "I am your nightmare/ I am your savior." I like that.

The last line confused me a bit "Death is mine to tame, for it has yet to see my true despair." Are you saying that death isn't as bad as what you despair?

Overall the poem is written well and it has a nice flow. I like your use of description and wording. However, I think you tend to just put random descriptions together, it doesn't seem like the entire poem fits together because it's hard to relate one stanza to the next.

I did really enjoy it though.
What do you think?
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:iconirelelengar:
IrelElengar Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I think my mouth is permanently glued into one big wow. :) Anyway, I love this so much. It's desperate, melancholy, and deep. I love this, I love this, I LOVE this! You are a very talented writer!
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awww, that means a lot. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm so happy that you enjoyed this one. :D
Reply
:iconlittleman48:
littleman48 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
Your work is truly inspired. Your soul is melancholy! Your light and shadow are perfect. I feel your spirit within this piece! Thank you for sharing such beauty. Truly beautiful! Be Blessed! You are a gift from the creator!
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for your kind words, it reassures me.
Comments like these really mean a lot! Thank you again, I wish I could say more.
Reply
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