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The Maze

Divide reality from illusion
Forwards is backwards
Separate belief from redemption
Success is failure

Where shadow crosses light
The ground meets my face
I'm surrounded by lies
The truth is too far away
-
Hope is this-
...Virus

Faith is this-
Injustice...

Pain is this-
...Shameless

It's just another dead end / It's filled with emptiness
This is death's discontent / Resenting life's rhetorical existence

Fear is this-
...Shapeless

Chaos is this-
Feverish...

Peace is this-
...Blinded
-
An infinite cycle mocks
Turn after turn
The timelessness cannot stop
As the same path is reborn

An unstable prisoner drowns
Lost inside my own encrypted mind
The way out can never be found
In this maze called “my life
Relive the days
Recreate the nights
Of my shame
In my mind
_________________________________________
Stock image used - by :iconluna-8-stock:

Check out and like my facebook artist page! ---> www.facebook.com/Eric.M.M.Walk...
_________________________________________
This poem was revised for the remix project, titled "Living My Life / Behind Hollowed Eyes" (The Darkness Never Dies remix edition)

In volume one: Shattered Secrets
_________________________________________
Check out my galleries below if you want to read more.
Watch me if you think that you might like my future work.
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:iconmaxxtoron:
Overall it's pretty good. I found the way you changed fonts a bit disorienting, but yet so is a maze. I personally think that you should have changed the third "stanza" (by this I man the bolded section, not the individual revelations) into the same kind of stanza as the rest. I really liked the extended metaphor, but I think the ending fell a bit short. You kind of threw off the veil with the "my life" part at the end, which is why a gave you a relatively low originality score. The ending was rather cliche in my tastes, nothing I haven't seen before, though I quite liked the rest of it. The revelations were extremely insightful into how you view the world. Overall, a pretty good poem.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconsyguy2013:
SyGuy2013 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have not yet read this, but I am faving it so that I can clean out my envelope as it is in the thousands. I will read this when I can. If I like it, I will keep it faved, and let you know.
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hope you like it when you do get around to reading it. :P
Reply
:iconerco71:
erco71 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you amaze me everytime I read something from you..i like this very much:)

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:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for your kind words. Comments like these boost my inspiration like no other! <3
Reply
:iconerco71:
erco71 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I know the feeling hun:hug:
and it was my pleasure:)
Reply
:iconmissyvapes:
MissyVapes Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013
This one left me in an utter state of confusion...
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Mission accomplished!
Reply
:iconrastamex:
rastamex Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
nice
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks
Reply
:iconrastamex:
rastamex Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
no problem :)
Reply
:iconstickmasteralter:
StickMasterAlter Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Professional General Artist
BE like Zed and run in there screaming: HELL YAH IMA IN A CAVE MOTHER FUCKERZ!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lol :P
Reply
:iconstickmasteralter:
StickMasterAlter Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Professional General Artist
I Ran out i and i was left sad :c
Reply
:iconzuky2001:
Zuky2001 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing, just...amazing...the way it plays out...the words...<3 :)
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Heh ^_^
Thank you so much for your kind words! :D
Reply
:iconzuky2001:
Zuky2001 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconlena-lawliet:
lena-lawliet Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013   General Artist
Sweet
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconpoofypo-x:
poofypo-x Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm not into poetry, but DUDE this was awesome!!! :D
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Heh!
I love comments like these! I haven't gotten one like this in a while. But yeah, my style of writing is very different from others. It has a more musical-style influence. When someone reads one of my works- it reminds them of a song, so, yeah... :D
Reply
:iconpoofypo-x:
poofypo-x Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I see what you think. I liked it!
Reply
:iconmatthiaswilsman:
MatthiasWilsman Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very good. I enjoy how the piece makes you feel as you are walking the path yourself as well as giving you the sense that it is all in your head. Not good at critique technique but it is an interesting style that you wrote here.
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the constructive feedback. The style I write with is very odd at first, but somehow I make it work from my point of view. :P
Some readers like it and some readers don't get it at all, which is completely okay on my end.
Reply
:iconmylittlesquirrelgirl:
MyLittleSquirrelGirl Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Nice!
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconmylittlesquirrelgirl:
MyLittleSquirrelGirl Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Welcome
Reply
:iconwhiteheartflame:
WhiteHeartFlame Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow...  OMG 
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lol, what did you think?
Reply
:iconwhiteheartflame:
WhiteHeartFlame Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I thought it was very good.  Dark, but then life is dark at times and we can never know which direction we are truly heading in with life.  Life is a maze, and I think you depicted that well.  :D
Reply
:iconxistormix:
XIStormIX Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013   Digital Artist
Fantastic!
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Thanks!
Reply
:iconxistormix:
XIStormIX Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013   Digital Artist
You are very welcome.
Reply
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July 23, 2013
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