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Poetry by Fundelstein

victimsunited by nnn1997

inspirational by Hellrebel

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Submitted on
July 27, 2012
File Size
1.6 KB


126 (who?)

Rain of Darkness

Something inside of me...broke
The very core of my soul...snapped
I became surrounded by a numbing cold
I blinked and everything faded to black

When you left me alone-
I felt this eternal betrayal
When you decided to let me go-
The dependance I hid became unstable

The weight on my shoulders collapsed
While the world I once knew- wasted
The bottled up remorse relapsed
I was consumed by hatred
Thou have forsaken
Others will taste my conviction

Hope, itself has been taken
Along with every form of justification

Why am I the one abandoned?
I never took ANYTHING for granted!

Re-fracture and amplify the fragments

I'm a fraction of a remnant
And that's an understatement

You knew this would happen
When you took back our salvation
Something deep inside of me...crumbled
The center of my heart...stung
I made even the shadows tremble
When they saw what I have become

I tried my very best to prevent it
But this is what happens when all trust is lost
You've got what you've wanted
Love and peace are labeled: flaws

My vision is shrouded in obsidian
As darkness rained from the hollowed sky
I am now a part of the corruption
For I have been reborn with blind eyes
As all hope fell down, I felt the rain
There is no turning back now, I feel the pain
stock image = [link]
brushes used = [link]
This poem is re-written for the compilation project
which is titled - "Revelation Days And Resolution Nights"
Behold the second piece to "The Rain Chronicles"
Read the first part - "Rain Of Fate" here -
Check out my galleries below if you want to read more.
Watch me if you think that you might like my work.
:iconfeardomized: :iconchainoflies: :iconhollowedsky:

*runs in a circle over and over and then faints*
Add a Comment:
Separated into disjointed parts, Rain of Darkness by HollowedSky seems at first oddly put together. But then, as one reads closer, they find that this is not so.

The poem begins with a direct reference to the point of view, often crucial to a poem with a narrative such as this one. Then it brings in a unique ternary form, where the narrative in the first part and the third part link in order to make the second part flow.

Most extraordinary of this poem is the technique of structure that this deviant has used. Unique and singularly interesting to read, Rain of Darkness should not be passed over.
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

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AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Writer
Wow this is beautiful
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. It means a lot. :D
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Student Writer
You are welcome :D
Grumpol Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sad, but beautiful. 
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm just glad you liked it. <3
Grumpol Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
WingedLunacy Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Simply amazing.
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed this particular one. :D
freaky208 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi there!
This has been featured in #All-For-Art's Featured "Best Of" Poll 44 [link]
You may share this with your friends and vote for your or the other deviants' work.
Take care :rose:
garycs Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
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