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My Invisible Life

Chest piercing
Pulse bounding
Barely breathing

I'm praying
On the surface of anxiety

I'm weeping
Getting used to this melancholy

-
They said...
They said...
They said...

They'd always be here to help

But instead...
But instead...
But instead...

I've always only had myself

I regret...
I regret...
I regret...

Opening the gates to this hell

It spreads...
It spreads...
It spreads...

And the screams are revealed

Tears shed...
Tears shed...
Tears shed...

I let my sorrow and resolve meld
-
Sight fading
Body numbing
Emotions withering

My desires are overtaken
I know this isn't right

But my lies weren't convincing
So this will always be my invisible life
Even though you see me the way I am
You will never see whats inside of my broken mind
____________________________________________
Stock image - by :icondaestock:
____________________________________________
This poem is written for those who suffer behind closed doors.
They hide away from everyone, in fear that they'd push them away further.
Featured in my upcoming poetry book, titled- "Broken Wings Unbound: I'm Falling Down / I'm Soaring Now"
In volume six: My Maelstrom

My Invisible Life -
My Broken Promises -
My Broken Promises
My Broken Promises

I know  \ you don't need to remind me anymore
I heard  / those heartfelt words many times before

You remember I said I would always be there for you when you needed me
But instead, I just upped and left the both of us, so heartlessly
Knowing very well that you're the most important person, I'm so sorry
Maybe these words of my inner hurt will help you understand clearly

I always thought that my first kiss ever would be with a special someone
But it was taken away from me in a split second, the loss cannot be undone
And I planned to keep my virginity for a little while longer, I wasn't ready yet

My Selfish Rebellion -
My Selfish Rebellion
My Selfish Rebellion

My dear brothers and sisters, you're so, so blind
And you're always hiding behind our father of lies
Taking commandments, even though you have your own minds

We were created so, so far from the truth
Hand and foot, constantly waiting to be told what to do
This is me unbecoming what I am; dividing myself from all of you
-
Cast me into perdition
For all of my choices will be unforgiven

I will not stay in this golden prison
I refuse to listen

So try to tear down
I dare you to smite me now

I deserve my own crown
A real sense of freewill is what I have found

I need to shed this halo of despair
I want this fals

My Unjustified Sickness -
My Unjustified SicknessMy Unjustified Sickness

My dilated pupils thicken with gray tears that render me blind
This spreading infection called human pain crusts over my tired eyes
Trapping in the unreleased torment as I now start to drown from the inside

My overly pale-shaded skin starts to stingingly peel away
Revealing the agony that I have to endure every single night and day
And it starts to make you wonder how much more of this torture can I take?

As it sinks itself deeper into my already broken flesh, I'm consumed entirely
It's tainting me whole, I'm a corrupted travesty, cringing as I decay so flawlessly
So please, I beg you to bestow me your numbing


This completes volume six.
____________________________________________
Swing by my facebook poetry page and hit "like" to get access to never before seen work and so many extras. Here ----> [link]
____________________________________________
Check out my galleries below if you want to read more.
Watch me if you think that you might like my future work.
:iconchainoflies: :iconfeardomized: :iconominoushero: :iconhollowedsky:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlightjer7:
lightjer7 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Love this piece so much :'(
been feeling like this all these years
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Awwww :'(
I really do hope in this new your, everything will start looking up for you, I really do. <3
Reply
:iconstarnoyume:
starnoyume Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
wow this is amazing powerful, the rhythm is so attractive that the lines are spinning in my mind now...
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. I was kind of nervous about the rhythm with this one. Just because it was produced so quickly. But thank you for reassuring me with this wonderful comment! It means a lot! :D
Reply
:iconwaiting-for-wings:
waiting-for-wings Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
wow this is really well written
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :D It means a lot, thank you for your kind words.
Reply
:iconwaiting-for-wings:
waiting-for-wings Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's my pleasure
Reply
:iconsmonaghan119:
SMonaghan119 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
very well written I enjoyed this, emotional and dark
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. It means a lot.
I'm happy that you enjoyed this one. ^_^
Reply
:iconghostpaint1:
Ghostpaint1 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Very good rhythm! And you can really get the strength behind the words. I have no problem believing you were able to overcome whatever hardships came your way :)
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot when I get comments like these, it really does! I can't stress that enough.
But I'm glad you found this to your liking, even if it's kind of dark.
Reply
:iconghostpaint1:
Ghostpaint1 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
In my opinion, dark can be used for good, especially when comparing it to whats light. Makes it seem brighter.
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
heh, I never really thought of it like that before. That's an interesting concept, I like it. :) I'll be sure to remember it.
Reply
:iconghostpaint1:
Ghostpaint1 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Please do. As good a muse as pain is it can be such a shame when it takes away those beautiful, creative people like yourself :)
Reply
:iconukebug:
UkeBug Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
Excellent, excellent, beat. I have trouble finding a groove or beat with my poetry.
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, thank you for noticing it. I listen to a lot of different kinds of music while writing. I remember what song it was, it was a remix of Powerless, by linkin park. Check it out if you want, maybe you will get a kind of inspiration like I did.
[link]

I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. :D
Reply
:iconukebug:
UkeBug Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
I did. But, I'm afraid my poetry is almost ALL free-form.
Reply
:iconrebelnijamaster:
rebelnijamaster Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
I really like the repetition that you used. Not just with the sections that repeat, but the sounds that those sections have. That sound really ties those stanzas together.
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
^_^
Those just came together pretty easily. I surprised myself with that, too.
Thank you for the reassurance, I was kind of nervous with those stanzas. I'm glad you liked this one. Thank you again. :D
Reply
:iconmarssamuel:
Marssamuel Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm not much of a poetry buff, but I can still tell you did a good job here.
Can I ask what the inspiration was, well, besides the fact that I already have?
Oh, and way past cool by the way! ^^;
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, it's kind of personal, but you asked nicely.

......I used to have really bad anxiety sessions- I call them sessions because they lasted for long periods of time. Usually one would call it anxiety attacks, but I think my case was different. And it came to a point where I realized I was hiding myself from my family and friends, I was just so afraid of them finding out and seeing me in that state. That went on for a while but things have changed since then.

And thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this particular piece. It means a lot.
Reply
:iconmarssamuel:
Marssamuel Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I could already read some pain like that inside of it the first time through, but that does make it more clear.
...It really is a great piece...

Thanks for opening up like that. I really appreciate it as well.
Reply
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