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I'm Soaring Now

This is a different level of fear
It's wounding my truth and morality

It's strong enough to bring me here
On the edge of life- peering over to serenity

It's not impossible to grasp
But it's typical to assume

The last breath is the fact
That after death- peace will follow soon
Countless flashing memories
Crossover swiftly
Ready to be set free
From this skin of...treachery


My scars peel off
Erased from my sight
The remains become soft
So this is what...innocence feels like


Destiny is somehow connected
Fate deems to be natural
The circle of the two is perfected
The beginning to the end is...peaceful

I offer and accept my own form of mercy
Before I miss out on forgiving the vulnerable side of me

Splitting and fusing fragments of calming memories
I would like to believe my life was somehow worthy

My tears have aligned with my eyes in this time-
To finally leave all that I loved...behind

And when I finally let it all go...
I won't feel the pain...anymore
It all drizzles down to the very last moments
It's peaceful...knowing there's always an ending
Stock image - by :iconjusticestock:
This poem is written for my project, titled-
"Broken Wings Unbound: I'm Falling Down / I'm Soaring Now"

This is the last poem for the book, to read the first poem, which is the opposite of this one,
check it out here --->
I'm Falling Down
I'm Falling Down

Pain just seemed to pass me by
Swift as tsunami waves touching the sky

Reality was nothing but a mirror
Melting away like frozen water on fading fire

I closed my sorrowful eyes
As if it was going to be the last time

And sparked images of my past that I don't want to remember
I was deceived every time I was told that it was going to get better
Flashes of agony
Infected my mind
And stinging anxiety
Shoots up my spine


While despair wraps around my heart
I want to let it all go
This life was just too hard
I don't want it anymore


There was no way out of this
I so

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Okay, I am the worlds worst critique writer, but hey, I'll give it a shot.

The meaning of this poem was very powerful and it hit me like THUD the beauty of it. Honestly it was beautiful, I have no idea how else to describe it.

The font differences was a very clever move on your part I really enjoyed it. Besides the fact that it really made your poem shine I felt like it added to the meaning. I don't know if that was just me or what but it was beautiful. I don't know if this is just a coincidence but I also noticed that you grouped the words a bit differently, and that was very enjoyable too.

I also see a bit of near rhyming in a bit of the parts, which I found to be very creative. :3 The last part really struck me,

And when my eyes finally close
I won't feel pain anymore

I found that part to be absolutely beautiful, the perfect way to end a wonderful poem. I loved this. Keep up the great work!!!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
13 out of 13 deviants thought this was fair.

Critique by TheLunarDragon Feb 17, 2013, 4:12:14 PM
This Critique is on behalf of :iconpoeticalcondition:

Vision: 5/5

When I read the description and realized that this was a part of a series, I thought to myself "What a wonderful idea." I never really see people posting a series of poetry. Very clever, and for that I gave you a full five stars in this category.

Originality: 4/5

This score is more a reflection of the subject matter more than you abilities as a writer. Typically when I see subject matter that I find commonplace, I dock a point. Nothing personal.

Technique: 5/5

We are back to five here because you are clearly able to properly operate a metaphor, you kept the piece clean and concise, and allowed it to flow together almost seamlessly.

Impact: 5/5

All things considered this is a piece that I believe will resonate well with the majority of your readers. This piece certainly did so for me! Keep up the good work!

(Bonus: I loved that this piece almost sounded lyrical in my head, it could easily be made into a song)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
12 out of 13 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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dancingninjabunnies Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful...
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
I'm so happy that you found this to your liking. :)
dancingninjabunnies Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. Beautiful imagery, and flows off the tongue.
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
ThePuzzledBoy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very nice. Emo, but very nice
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, well I'm glad you were able to enjoy it.
ShadowMaker-241 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like the way you use HTML formatting for a more dramatic view :)
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's something that I try and add for more of an effect. I'm happy to see that it works every now and then.
Thank you. :)
pseudonym-blue Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
This is a good poem :) It's very dark, though. I hope that you're alright.
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'll be fine. Thank you for your kind words, it really does mean a lot. :D
pseudonym-blue Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013
I'm glad, and you're welcome :)
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Submitted on
February 17, 2013
File Size
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