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Fallen Into Darkness

I'm a dark void, my shadow casts its own shadow
And I'm too much of a coward to even try and turn back
I'm so bleak, because I've managed to create a new breed of sorrow
And I'd be a fool to even attempt to move out and into the blinding black

My mere gaze can darken the brightest tomorrow
That must be why I am destined to remain here forever
My life is unaware that death is what I yearn to give into
That's another reason to sever every bond for the better

I vowed to myself that I wouldn't take you down with me
Your kind strength and light is what I can no longer borrow
I am nothing but a doubled-edged sword, it is what I will always be
I'm regretfully swaying away from the promised path that I used to follow

But I assure you that I will be alright
So please remember you did everything you could
But I've already made up my mind
And you said every hopeful word you should

Now you need to let me go, and continue on with your burdenless life
You really didn't want to give up on me, but I always knew you would
Now you will no longer worry, because from now on everything will be fine
You tried your very best to help me, but your hope is what I have never understood

You need forget about me as best as you can
Because this battle is lost
It's that time now where your hand can no longer be lent
Because I am a dying cause

Good bye, my dear friend
I'm so sorry to see us go, but sometimes life can be heartless
Hello, the bitter end
Alas, I have finally fallen into darkness
You let go of me, but I don't resent you
Because you did everything you had to
________________________________
This poem was written for my project which is titled-
"Broken Wings Unbound: I'm Falling Down, I'm Soaring Now"
In volume two: Dark Depths
Fallen Into Darkness-
A Spark In The Dark -
Becoming The Darkness -
Our Walk In The Dark - Not Yet Written
_______________________________
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:iconflippysoldierbear:
I'm not really good at writing critiques so...here it is!



All I can say is...wow! Because this poem that you wrote was very deep and it felt like it just touched your soul and the fact that everyone in some point of their lives they might feel this way, like they're lost in the darkness or somehow fallen into the darkness and they try their best to look for the light such as hope and faith and the picture pretty much sums it up of what losing hope looks like this poem is very powerful and you perfectly grasp the feeling of sinking into the darkness
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
13 out of 13 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconwatchinghoper:
WatchingHoper Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Why can't I hold all of these feels. ;-;
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Because....you.....don't touch yourself at night..... O_O
Reply
:icontomytieneblas74:
tomytieneblas74 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn, this is so....Deep !
It's like it epitomizes what a sad, depressed, sorrowful person is really feeling on the inside, and can only find solace in pitch darkness.
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
If you only read the bold parts, it also makes a miniature poem, too. I'm thrilled that you liked this one too. The darkness poems that I release, tend to attract a crowd.
Reply
:icontomytieneblas74:
tomytieneblas74 Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, I have seen the bold faced letters in the passage do, in fact, make a small poem, sir.
Have you ever thought about merging all these darkness poems you got into a book and get it published? You said so yourself, that it brings in alot of attention. :)
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah I thought about it a while ago. I may do something like that in the far away future.
Reply
:icontomytieneblas74:
tomytieneblas74 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Go for it ! It looks like you got potential! ! :)
Reply
:iconnightiszero:
NightisZero Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
! .. oh yes ...
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Reply
:iconitwistedcookie:
iTwistedCookie Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Student Filmographer
<3 <3 Love it ^___^
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, thank you so much. :D
Reply
:iconexaltedpoet:
ExaltedPoet Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:clap::typerhappy:
Reply
:iconcoloredinlove:
COLOREDINLOVE Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You are always pulling me into the poem and going with you on the sad journey of pain and frustration which is a part of so many people's lives...Now..I am in love with the so called "conversation" to the other person or yourself?
It is easy to follow and I have a safe place for you..if you want to come in..Amazing sweetheart! Love YA!! Brenda;)
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's not really a 'conversation' type poem, even though it seems that way now that you pointed it out :P
What it is, is the one who is falling is saying good bye to the person who was trying to save them, so initially it's just one person speaking through out the whole poem. Just one point of view kind of.
Thank you for your support, you have no idea how much you're doing for me! <3 :')
Reply
:iconcoloredinlove:
COLOREDINLOVE Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Good! I am here anytime and I will talk to you soon honey!
Reply
:icon0pho:
0pho Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love everything this symbolises and says. Need say no more.
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D That means a lot, when someone says it like that x.x
Thank you so much! <3
Reply
:iconchris5241:
chris5241 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2012
Wow, I feel this.
Reply
:icongreenjeans52:
greenjeans52 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
your writing fits my pain filled life, its as though your words came , from my mind
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awww :(
Reply
:iconmonmilo9:
monmilo9 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
^.^ Glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconx-xqueenofheartsx-x:
X-xQueenOfHeartsx-X Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This remands me of that song by Skillet [link]
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Omfg, this is such a good song x.x instantly loved it lol. Thank you for sharing that with me! <3 :D
Reply
:iconx-xqueenofheartsx-x:
X-xQueenOfHeartsx-X Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No prob^^
I'm glad you like it!!^^
Reply
:iconmerlindace:
merlinDace Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012
what software do you use to make this it's really good
Reply
:iconmerlindace:
merlinDace Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012
i meant what software do you use to make the pic if you did make the pic btw
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Photoshop CS3
Reply
:iconmerlindace:
merlinDace Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012
oh wow im smart
Reply
:iconsher01:
Sher01 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Very well put together. The word choices were fantastic and the hidden meanings between the lines was also head well but you had to look close to see it. You are a very good writer. You should continue!
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much, and I will try to continue doing so. :D <3
Reply
:iconsher01:
Sher01 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
awesome! I look forward too it!
Reply
:iconlovedbz:
loveDBZ Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ah the darkness almost seems happy for me now T_T i guess thats what happens when your me you only feel the pain of darkness but sense I've been in the darkness for so long theres no hope for me
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
At that point, where you think there is no hope, there really is, because you must realize, that you're still thinking of "hope" and you haven't given up on the idea of "hope" so therefor, there's still something there for you. You just need to try and find it.
Reply
:iconlovedbz:
loveDBZ Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i know theres hope for me but not lately thats all but thanks :)
Reply
:icontiger-chan42:
Tiger-chan42 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012
omfg
yes stereotypical emo bullshit fyeah
"im so depressed everything sucks my life is awful and it's over and my soul is so dark and I'm 12 years old"
yeah
lol wow that shit is really pathetic.
Reply
:iconnudedoctor:
NudeDoctor Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012
:highfive:
Reply
:iconmiserydoll666:
MiseryDoll666 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
You don't know anything about this person. She could be abused and truely in pain,are you the one to just make it worse. Look at all the people in the world and think, there not all happy and perfect they have prblems it doenst matter if other ppl have worse because it's not their life. "EMO" is a music genre and the ppl who follow the style arent all "sad,Depressed, and suicidal" thats like saying all the preps and stuck up fags and all the punks are criminals. We are all family ,all of us. We all deserve to be treated like one.
Reply
:icontiger-chan42:
Tiger-chan42 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012
Dude.
No.
Stop. I know what emo is.
But this person, from everything I've gathered, is acting EXACTLY like the stereotypical emo. Before you freak the fuck out, I exaggerated slightly, yes.
But acting like that is immature and ridiculous. Talking about how "dark" your soul and whatever else is fucking insane.
How do you think that sounds to someone that's been depressed, as in, ACTUALLY DIAGNOSED WITH CLINICAL DEPRESSION, for three years?
Reply
:iconmiserydoll666:
MiseryDoll666 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
well look at it in her piont of view.She is NOT you, tht is what shes going threw and this is how she expresses it.You may have gone threw that BUT she is not you, this is her and her life and the problems SHE faces. It's how SHE feels, yes it may sound a little "insane" to you but to others and her self it brings more intrest to the poem. Im not freaking out i am calmly telling you this, and what my opinion is.
Reply
:icontiger-chan42:
Tiger-chan42 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
*through
*I
*She's
*herself
*I'm
Wow.

With that out the way, I can just say, perhaps it is what she's going through. But by putting it like that, she's just putting herself out there for teasing. It'd sound so much better just saying "I can relate to this", instead of whining about how much your life sucks and "the darkness" and whatever else.
Quite frankly, if I sat and worked on a poem for a long time, the last thing I'd want would be some angsty teenager commenting on it saying how it's too happy for them and how there's no hope for them.
Even people who HAVE been through hell and back don't sit there saying "The darkness is way too happy for me I only feel pain there's no hope for me"
That is EXACTLY how those stereotypical emos talk.
Reply
:iconmiserydoll666:
MiseryDoll666 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
As I had Said,This is HER thats how she deals with it, doesnt matter what anyone else has gone through because she cant be them. and i dont get the*through
*I
*She's
*herself
*I'm
Wow. stuff yew put up. lets just end it here and stop cpmmenting alright?
Reply
:icontiger-chan42:
Tiger-chan42 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
I was correcting your goddamn awful grammar.
You are the result of over six billion years of evolutionary success, and a lifetime of free education.
Type like it.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconlovedbz:
loveDBZ Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks and for 1 I'm not emo 2 i just have a stupid life 3 i just try to ignore everyone who tries to bring me down and you should too and 4 your party cool for standing up for someone you don't even know so thanks again :) :D
Reply
:iconmiserydoll666:
MiseryDoll666 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
no problem :) and its good you dont listen to what people say, half of them dont even know what they're talking about
Reply
:iconlovedbz:
loveDBZ Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yeah i know :)
Reply
:iconlovedbz:
loveDBZ Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hey im not emo and im not 12 now shut up i just have a stupid life ok
Reply
:icontiger-chan42:
Tiger-chan42 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012
The 12 thing was a joke.
Wow but that's exactly how you sound.
How do you think all that "oh I'm so dark my soul is so dark I'm so depressed there's no hope for me" shit sounds to someone who's been struggling with clinical depression for three years?
It sounds fucking offensive.
Because really, if you actually were depressed, the last thing you'd do, is announce it to the internet.
Your life doesn't suck that fucking much. Stop with the obvious attention seeking, seriously.
Reply
:iconlovedbz:
loveDBZ Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
shut up you know nothing >:(
Reply
:icontiger-chan42:
Tiger-chan42 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
No, but I know you just put yourself out there for teasing by acting like that.
Seriously. People are going to take you SO MUCH MORE SERIOUSLY and be more sympathetic if you just say "I can relate to this" or something along those lines, instead of sitting talking about the darkness and whatever the fuck else.
Reply
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Submitted on
March 12, 2012
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