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September 1, 2012
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A Dying Rainbow

I'm always told that I'm such a wonderful person
And that I'm thoughtful, caring, kindhearted, and so important
But they don't see what's behind closed doors, the constant clashes with torment
Damage goes unseen as I blanket everything with cold smiles that seem slightly burdened

My tears quake while they hide behind my blackened shades
My hands tremble because I'm holding onto so much of this hate
My body is painted nonchalant so I have to appear in an emotionless state
My blood system is clogged with suicidal thoughts that make me want to break

I've been like this far too long
I wish I died before this had begun
Surrounded by fear is where I don't belong
I just want this lucid nightmare to be over and done

-
Society these days
Teaching children the old prejudice ways
And that's why certain individuals grow up so afraid
In the end, a premature death is the price loved ones pay

I'm one of those
Dwelling in fear at the end of my rope
Trying to conceal agony that no one would ever know
And my grip is slowly getting loose, so I can't wait to let go

It's so hard to try and reach out
No hands to grab, so there's no one to help
Not everyone could understand this kind of hell
Peace is a complete mystery to my pain, and to myself

There is no true hope to oblige
There is no real love to confide
There is no point to this kind of life
There is no such thing as human rights

-
There's a reason why I showed no signs and gave zero warnings
None of you wouldn't have understood this type of suffering
You don't know what it's like to dread discrimination
All I wanted was to be able to live free in the open

But I'm done trying
Because my only dream won't happen
And I'm so sick of waiting
This life is not worth living

I'm leaving this colorless world behind
These old fashioned teachings are what I can no longer abide by
Because I'd rather be dead and gone a thousand times than be a living lie
So now I bid all of you a farewell, and hope you have wonderful life, good bye
What's at the end
Is better than the beginning
_____________________________
"like" my facebook poetry page for updates - [link]
_____________________________
This poem is written for my project - "Broken Wings Unbound: I'm Falling Down, I'm Soaring Now"
In volume Five: Parting Paths
_____________________________
Check out my galleries below if you want to read more.
Watch me if you think that you might like my work.
:iconfeardomized: :iconchainoflies: :iconhollowedsky:
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:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
I truly love this. It`s absolutely amazing.
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:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, I was kind of sketchy about this one, I was afraid of hitting nerves, and being too blunt. x.x
I'm glad you felt that way about this one. :D
Reply
:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconarcoiris-gato:
ArcoIris-Gato Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This gave me so many feelings.
My chest is hurting.
:heart:
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:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awww :(
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:iconarcoiris-gato:
ArcoIris-Gato Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
But I love it though :heart:
Reply
:icondonttuchme:
donttuchme Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Student Digital Artist
this is really good. i think some people think that way and its hard to get out
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, thinking about in some form or another. I agree, it's hard to change from something like that. I think it just takes time, time vs pain.
Reply
:icondonttuchme:
donttuchme Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Your very right it does take alot. also it hurts a lot
Reply
:iconthird-rate:
Third-rate Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Student General Artist
Oh my i love the part in bold the most <3
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
IKR!
I thought it fit just right.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks a ton! :)
Reply
:iconmikadiva:
MikaDiva Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Student General Artist
Magnificent!
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So happy that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much. :D
Reply
:iconmikadiva:
MikaDiva Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Student General Artist
Your welcome :)
Reply
:iconnikakrae:
NikaKrae Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Professional Writer
Ugh, chills are creeping down my spine. Nope, people like me and at a certain point in their lives just like me... they are not supposed to read this kind of poetry for very good reasons. :lonely:
I have to admit, I was kind of perversely disappointed about the fact you've written this for some project. Anyway, job well-done apparently.
Reply
:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I apologize if this poem gave you any negative feelings, it's not my intention. I want to elaborate on the meaning behind the project, just to shine some light on the subject which you might not fully understand from the little information that I posted.

The project is a therapeutic way for me to "let go" of the past. A poetry project. Although it's dark, I know it does not fit everyone's taste in literature. I'm just doing this for me, that's all. And I do feel bad hearing you say that this made you feel like that. Because I know, I was in the position not-too-long-ago. Not even last year, lets say, four months ago.

You have my sincere apologies.
Try and read this, if you will. It might make things better. [link]
Reply
:iconnikakrae:
NikaKrae Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Professional Writer
Now I just want to slap you for apologizing.. :shakefist:
Never apologize for what you create. Your poetry actually made me feel something, which is a priori a good thing. So you have my thanks and admiration. :thanks:
Reply
:iconwanderlings:
Wanderlings Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Brilliant :)
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:iconsurvivingnights:
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, I'm so glad you liked it! <3
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